tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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