So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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