If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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