woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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