She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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