so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Randomize
