Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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