I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize