you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We need a shit load of segways right now
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
