Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
