Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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