She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
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