Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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