they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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