i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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