Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
