What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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