And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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