I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
