i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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