what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize