THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
