haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
