You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
