we have pet lesbian snakes
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
