found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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