I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize