I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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