no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
3pm strippers are depressing
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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