Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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