have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
