I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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