That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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