your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
