roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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