Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
