She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize