if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize