Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize