so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
