when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at templeÂ
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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