Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
