PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
