i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
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