Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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