Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
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