I cut my penus on the lid.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
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Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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