i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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