mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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