I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you win again, gameday.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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