Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
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it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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