plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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