someone get that fucking seahorse.
You can't special order awesome
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
