Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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