I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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