Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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