so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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