lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
