DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
