Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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