Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
